I get the question "How do you Do it?" or the statement "I don't know how you do it!" often. Usually, at least once a week. But I don't think that it's just because I have 7 children. I've heard others say it to those with less. If anyone has more children than the statement maker it's fair game. If Mom 1 has one child she'll say it to Mom 2 that has 2 children, or 2 vs. 3 and so on. Maybe it's said in a moment of frustration with their own. Or a moment that's overwhelming. But no matter why- the How is the same.
(I'll get to the How in just a minute~)
When I'm asked this question some days it's easy to laugh and over look. To give a witty answer. "With a lot of duct tape!" But when asked in a moment of overwhelmingness for myself, I just want to bark "Because I have to!" or "Really I'm not, I just look like I am!" Most of the time I bite my tongue, because it's my perception of life at the moment and most days it really isn't that bad!
But HOW?
The same way I did it with just one, or two, or four. With love. With patience. With experience. With an open mind and a light heart. Even if it's just for one day. That's the how! How do you do it? I bet in the same ways, and not necessarily on a smaller scale. As mothers we do because we want to. Because we made our decisions and we decided to become responsible for another being (or two, or 5, or 10.) because our hearts were ready. Because we Can.
I don't think I'm anymore organized than Mom 1 or Mom 2- their children may or may not have needs greater than mine. Temperaments more difficult or easier for that matter. I don't remember to have my children brush their teeth every day, or know exactly what project their working on in school but I know I'm giving to them the most important thing- Love. We each, mothers that is, just KNOW how to do that. And with each child your heart grows.
So when I met a mother that has more children than I do (and trust me they are out there!) I don't get the urge to ask "HOW do you DO it?!" I get the urge to ask "What tips do you have?" and to say "Thank you for showing me it can be done."
Thank you mamas of all size families. I learn from each of you each day. I hope to do it more like you!
I love that last sentence so much! I find that some of the bigger families I know are "size-ist", like they only hang out with other big families and they don't learn anything from smaller ones. Like you, I learn from everyone, a mom with 2 kids, one kid, I see inspiration everywhere on How to do it better!
ReplyDelete