Back to School 2011-12

While the rest of my children (and most of the nations) still have a month left of summer vacation, my two youngest school-agers head back today. They've had just the month of July for summer break. Most parents think think this isn't long enough but I feel lucky to have them in this school. And for a short summer break. If we did day camps, big family vacations and regular activities I'd probably feel the same- but we don't. And too much free time, especially during that last month of break, sets us all up for lots of arguing, idle time and breaking of good habits (like regular bed times). And a harder time of readjustment back into reality.

Last Thursday we had open house. O, I and myself got to meet their teachers, see their classrooms and friends. I really like both teachers and think this will be a great year for them both. I didn't get to spend as much time talking with O's primary teacher (they each have a primary and 2 specialists in the class- not to mention numerous support teachers) as I'd of liked but being such a small school I'm pretty sure she's already been made aware of O's strengths and weaknesses, and we'll have plenty of opportunities to talk things over in the coming weeks.

In their school the classes tend to stay together for a few years time, with mixed grades for 2nd and 3rd, and 4th and 5th. With Kindergraten and 1st each in a seperate class, with a new teacher each year. It runs simular to a Montessori that way. I is entering the 4th grade this year, an "upper classman" of the school. They lost a lot of girls at the end of school (mostly because of older siblings graduating and parents deciding to switch the younger siblings to other schools) and so there is only 5 girls in the whole of the 4th/5th grade. I hope this will be a good thing, with less drama and the girls being able to unite more. I know for I it's hard, she lost most of her best friends. But she and I do like her teacher this year a bit more than last. (Last years teacher tended to look only at where the kids could improve and not recognize their strengths as much as I'd like.) And I feel academically she'll excel.

We also got to meet the director of the special ed. program. Oh and I can't wait to talk to her more! With O's new Dx he'll be able to receive more structured help in school. (They have on site OTs and STs- and OT/ST rooms!)  Even maybe have OT at school, when he's having days where he's struggling. SHE mentioned this! I'm sending in a permission to exchange info for his developmental pediatrician and when he starts working with an OT, one for them too. This information will help get us going on a IEP for O- one that can follow him to whatever school he may go to in the future.

So at 8:30 this morning while others are still enjoying their summer breaks my two will board their bus and head back to school. Off to learn more. I hope to start a new schedule for J, C and I this week. (O will be in school ALL day, so that gives me a bit more time to devote to the littests.) One that includes a regular morning nap for J and a more structured "preschool" time for C, where we can focus on him and maybe some of the things we are learning from his therapists. Even an ECFE class this fall/winter.

I really am starting to feel longer school years are a benefit, for all kids. But probably wouldn't work in the current public school mindset that school is all work and fun's for at home. Kids would get burnt out fast!

(I hope I can get a picture- my camera's batteries are dead atm, but if I can find P's I'll grab one of them before they head out and add it later!) 

Social Interactions

Yesterday was a hard day here. Weekends our neighbor watches her grandchildren can be overwhelming. My children want to play with hers and for the most part vice versa. well in theory. Her grandchildren ask to play and also ask to play with the little boy next door. And then can loose interest in O. I try and remember they are all younger than mine (well older than C) at ages 3, 4 and 5. They love to play with I and often seem to want to play with O but, and  this is where it's hard, they know O (and I) have more restrictive rules than them. O and I need to stay in the yard to play and are not allowed to go to the neighbor's house (not that their not nice people, but they seem overwhelmed by their own 2 and adding O and his needs just doesn't seem like a good idea, especially if adding an additional 2 children.). They ask O to come and play and then take off for P's (the little guy next door) house. Leaving O to sit there and wait and wait and wait and then his patience wears off and he starts yelling for them and then, the over the fence/balcony yelling matches begin. And ultimately it ends in O getting frustrated and meltingdown because they're not coming back to play with him.

And I realize O has social and maturity issues. He's at least 2 years behind his peers but as big an average 6.5 year old. So playing with kids younger than him is hard- he's on their level maturity wise but towers over them in size. And if you get a 5 year old who's older than 5 then there's real issues. Because the younger more mature kid knows how to twist it so O is left standing and he seems to enjoy this. And I'm left standing there trying to figure out how to handle it, how to get O from meltingdown and feeling guilty because I'm wishing my son was more normal/mature. Wishing there were other little boys, more O's age. in the neighborhood.

So after an afternoon of all 5 kids playing okay together on Saturday, I knew Sunday would probably be a hard one. I'd said "no" to about a hundred requests to go play already and finally broke down and agreed. 5 minutes into the play the youngers left O to go next door and play. I watched as my little guy sat and waited and waited, I could see his emotions rising and made the decision to instead bring him and C up to our park, to play and swim. But by the time we had baby J, and C ready to go the kids were back outside- but playing in the neighbor's yard- over the fence with O. It took a lot of coaxing to get O to want to go but we did and we all enjoyed ourselves at the park.

Then we deal with the return home- when they're all still out in the yard and I was home from her swim trip with friends, and they both want to go out and play. But it's dinner time and I'm really no longer wanting to deal with the drama and insist they stay in. For the best for us all, as they all are over tired and it's painfully obvious.

I have to close one of our living room windows because the oldest boy is now out on the next door's porch yelling at my window- to get our attention. (Something my kids aren't allowed to do is yell out the windows or even hang out in them, as we are on the 2nd story and they've been known to push to the screens out. I really don't need to have anyone falling out of them and breaking something.) I close the window and then the blind and finally they get the point. I'm sorry I'm done dealing today.

I've really just started to wonder why O is so much younger than kids his age and a few years younger. Is it to do with his sensory issues? Social issues? Will it always be this way? Will he someday have a growth spurt of maturity? How can I help him? And why do some kids seem to just know how to push buttons of others? I hate saying it this way but sometimes there's just that kid that seems to know how to be mean, seems to enjoy seeing others upset, and I just don't like them. Harsh, I know, to say I don't like a 5 year but it's not the first and probably not the last.

Opposite Mommy- Strict/Lenient

When my olders were younger I had a much stricter stance in parenting. My expectations were higher than probably should have been. But there were other areas where I was more lenient- a lot to do with how they spoke to me and allowing them to say "no" and giving them choices in things that they didn't need (like where we'd eat out). Now as teens I'm the opposite with them. My expectations are lower and they have it pretty "easy", very few regular chores, no set bedtimes, curfews too late (but in accordance to the law). But my parenting of them when younger comes back to slap me in the face far too often. I have a hard time with the way they speak to me, ignore things they are asked to do and in general see me as a peer instead of parent. BUT they are good kids, with loving hearts towards others, and they make good decisions away from home, so some of what I did was right.

Now with my middle and younger daughter things are a bit different- my expectations of them while younger were much lower (probably due to experience, and wisdom) and they weren't give the same allowances are the olders- no choices they didn't need to make, and they are expected to talk to parents(adults in general), well actually all others, with respect.

Something I think parents have a tendency to overlook is the influence of older siblings on younger ones. Yes the job of the parent is to parent them all- but sibling influence is strong, stronger even than peer pressure (and we all hear about the importance of helping our children deal with peer pressure and saying "no", not so much about sibling pressure). Older children may not be whispering in the youngers ears to "do this" or "don't do that" but those youngers WATCH those olders with an eagle eye and follow their example. I've found the most difficult areas I have with my olders are the areas my youngers are picking up on. So I'm working hard to combat it from all angles. I model respect to them all and point out (to the individual not the group) when their behavior is inappropriate, and when its an older, how the youngers are watching and coping them. It works sometimes...but I'm also changing tactics with the middles in hopes that the very youngers have a great example.

I'm finding I will probably be more strict with the middles and youngers as they enter teenagedom. They will have more to do in regards to being helpful around the house, will need to check in and not run as free, and expectations will be raised, because I know what they are capable of. I am no longer in uncharted territory.

But with the very youngest there is a fine balance needed. Maybe due to their sensory issues, maybe due to my growth as a parent. I know what I can expect developmentally at certain ages, but they are behind in those areas, so I need to adjust to their needs. Choices are something they don't need as much as I gave, even to the middle girls. They like a strict routine and when I (we) deviate too far, life for them falls apart.It'll be interesting to parent these boys as teens. I have a feeling structured activities, or sports will be part of our life.

Being opposite Mommy brings its own challenges. Sometimes I find myself defending my parenting of the younger children to the older ones. It doesn't matter how many times I say "Well I've learned different/more since you were young." or "They are not you and I have to treat them according to their needs, as I do yours." or "I'm the parent and you can let me do the parenting, please." I know the youngers frustrate them, they frustrate me regularly. And I know how much "life should be fair and equal for everyone" but life lessons that "life isn't fair or equal" are important and necessary, and the best place to learn those sometimes is in the home. It's also a lesson of tolerance that I hope I am teaching. Because in life we have lots of people we can't stand but have to deal with. And do so with tolerance.

I am constantly changing in my parenting style but that's because I'm learning as I go. We all are. What works for one may not work for another and we really don't see the end results of our parenting until they are grown. We don't really know which style is best for the individual until its all said and done.

Independence Day

We had an over all good weekend which included a trip to my favorite new store for a replacement Chewy for C, Saturday and a visit to Como Zoo (one of the last "free" zoos left in the US) on Sunday. The middles were off with their dad and the oldest 2 with friends- a rare occurrence of only having the 2 littlest, made for a well lets to this kind time.

With the busy weekend we decided to keep things mellow for the 4th. Took the youngers to the wading pool and bbq at home. For a few days before Dh and I had been debating whether to skip the big fire works show or not. Loud noises and sensory sensitive children don't always mix well.

Last year (well every year before this actually) we didn't have a name or idea Why the boys were so sensitive to the big booms- I knew what to expect from O, his one true reaction has always stayed the same blood curdling screaming and a little boy trying to run and begging and sobbing "Go home now!" He's done this since he was a year and a half. None of my others did this- funny story my oldest son at a year and a half fell asleep at the beginning of the show and stayed asleep all the way through the finale! I never understood how he could do that- so the opposite of O and C.

Last year was the first time we brought C to the show. O did quiet well- he's learned his own adaptive skills (covering his ears with his hands- and lets out a little bark of excitement on the really loud ones) overall he enjoys seeing them now. C reacted much the same way O did at a year. Screaming and trying to run. Panic all though his little body. A year later he still doesn't react well to loud unexpected noises. And little J is worse- even just his brothers playing too loudly sets him into hysterical crying, especially when he's tired.

So we made a tough decision- to break tradition and forgo going to see fireworks. Much to the dismay of the younger girls (the oldest two were off with friends). But we didn't want it to stink completely and bought some legal fireworks (here they can't launch off the ground) and sparklers. P got the honor of lighting them, at 12 she needed a bit more excitement then just watching, and with us Right There we felt comfortable letting her. I, O and C enjoyed watching- their favorites were the Mini Mes and the T-Rex, both had the whizzing sound associated with fireworks but at a much smaller decibel. Both of these did cause a few screeches from the boys but happy ones. Little J was off in dream land before the 1st one was lit. (He has a very rigid, self induced sleep time of 8:30!)

What will we do next year? Not sure- we'll see how the youngest two are then. We'll just take it as it comes and plan a little bit future in advance.

Wordless Wednesday: Caught in a Plot

High School Graduate

I don't know why this one's been so difficult to write out. It was a fast and emotional day, much like my wedding day. A streak of memories all wrapped up into a few short hours, time needed to process and reflect. Saturday was busy spent prepping the last of the food for Sunday's big event. And Sunday morning prepping 5 people to be out the door by 12:30. I also had a few things to run out for. Batteries for the camera. Ice for the cooler. And a few grad balloons- I was only able to get one, the other two were silver stars. But I was lucky beyond belief to get the one I did- there was only one left in the entire store. It was float on the ceiling, no string attached and half deflated- the man at the register had to use a pole with tape on the end to get it down and then re-inflated it and attached a string for me. It was meant to be for her!

 (sorry about the bad quality- there was only so much that I could do, it was just too dark and too far for any really good shots.)

She was required to be at the school at 1pm- an hour before the ceremony, to be fitted for her cap and gown. And parents weren't allowed. (A great pic moment lost.) We waited as patiently as possible- O doing exceptionally well, and C well not so much. (DH spent most of the hour before hand with him in the car, trying to get him to doze off, even if just for a few minutes. Finally he dozed but only with DH's help of rocking him in a giant bear hug. DH was able to sneak back in with a sleeping C, but C awoke crying within the first 15 minutes of the ceremony. And DH and C snuck out of the auditorium to watch from the door.) We took up a whole row of seats.

 (with DH)

The Head of the school was supposed to make the opening speech but couldn't make it that day. So it went straight into the kids' chosen staff member's speech- the high school counselor. He spoke about where they all came from and where they were going. Next the student speaker, and her speech it home to me.

(She and I)

R attended an online school, getting away from the traditional brick and mortar, her teachers and classmates spread out across the state. All classes instructed from web cams and live lessons. The students only meeting for an occasional school social event, but mostly making friends by chat. The student speaker touched on how she was asked often "But you never really meet these people?" and "How can they really be your friends?" The biggie "But you don't really socialize?!" She spoke of how just because she doesn't get to hang out or "socialize" in real life with her friends from school that doesn't make them any less of her friends, or that she isn't any less likely to remain friends with them in the future. But that how this experience has helped her grow and taught her how to be more open to socializing with many different people, in many different senses. That they, the students, are enriched by the whole experience. (I know this feeling, have experienced it myself- how online friends can turn into more than just computer buddies, how they can be just as close, and closer, than any friend in real life. You have to put more effort and energy into those relationships but the end result is amazing!)

(Mingling) 

After her speech, they walked! With less than 100 students graduating (yes it was just because it was That small of a class- and also because the distance many live from the city made it hard for others to attend.) the walk only took 15 minutes. Then they were certified and were truly graduates.

(Cutting cake w/sister A, on dad's side)

The hallway outside was a zoo- so many families, grads and friends, we got a few photos and made our way to my mom's for her party. We expected up to 100 people (she has a lot of friends and support people.) but probably only between 40 and 50 came. It was just enough to make it personal but enough also to show her how special this is and encourage her to keep going. Lots of food was served and lots of photos were taken. She was a star.

(Social Butterfly)

I think the lowest point for her came 2 hours before the ceremony, when she received a message via FB from her father telling her he wouldn't be making it (church and work were more of a priority- I am not saying either isn't but as any parent would feel, your child's graduation is, and will always be, first priority.). She handled it well and with truth, not letting it ruin her day. She held her head high and proud.

(The Grad!)

Just another reason to be proud of her and how far she's come and grown. I love that girl!
                                                                                                                                                                   
The stats were against her.

• "Children of teen parents are 50% more likely to repeat a grade and are less likely to graduate from high school than children of older parents ³."
• "Only 77% of children born to teen parents will receive a high school diploma compared to 89% of children born to older parents ⁴."
   
  
  
  But she did it and now goes on to the next chapter- college. A private all girls school- her choice school, where she'll be living on campus and moving towards her next goal, a special education teacher.
  
  
  
  
  

  

  (She did it!)

Camping With C (Seeking, Avoiding, and Lovey)

You may have read my post on our camping trip but I wanted to do one just on C and our experience camping with him. We knew going into our adventure that we'd face challenges having to do with C's sensory seeking and avoiding issues so we were prepared for almost anything that could happen. And at home we have a very strict routine when it comes to bed time with C- not just from us setting routines but from C's need to have things just so- if we veer too far off course it can all unravel so fast. We have two choices in life with C- try and work with him and help him learn skills to be a bit flexible or stay home for the rest of our lives. The second isn't really an option because we want to experience the world and give that to our children, they seem to love the experiences too. (C's new thing the past few weeks is to ask to go "Bye", he loves to be out and about. Mostly its just the running but he doesn't mind were he runs.)

I don't know how exactly I'm going to write this out... I think I'll just talk about the experience and how it relates to the photos and throw in anything I missed at the end.

C's a runner- put on a straight safe path and he'll just go, until of course something catches his eye and he HAS to stop and investigate, or pick up a treasure. Try and get him moving before he's ready again and a meltdown will happen.

His treasures tend to be picked for a theme in his head. On this particular hike he choose dead leaves. Sometimes its sticks, rocks or flowers.

Running with a fresh group of leaves.

C spent a good few hours playing with the car doors. Open and close, open and close. And they had to be closed just right- it made it very difficult to unpack/pack the van, he'd get quite angry when we needed to leave the doors open. At one point he became stuck on the gas door- he would not leave it alone...DH ended up pulling out the duct tape and taping it shut just so C wouldn't break the door- C was trying to pull it off.

We know some of this is normal toddler investigation, but with C was a bit overload. Most toddlers, in my experience, will eventually loose interest and wonder away but C didn't and couldn't be distracted, unless we left the camp site.

He really wanted to go into the lake and loved it when he got in, until he realized there was SAND on the bottom. Then it was "Up Da, up!"

We weren't sure how he'd react to the sand at the beach but we had an idea from a recent trip to the park, where he wanted to take his shoes off but when he did get them off he wouldn't move and would keep stepping in an attempt to get his feet out of the sand.

At the lake he was fine up until we had to undress, which included socks and shoes, to go into the water. He wouldn't move, not one step and seemed utterly relieved when we put him on the towel out of the sand. I hope this doesn't seem cruel but we used this to our advantage for the few minutes we needed so DH could go change into his suit and I needed to nurse J- he sat C on a towel with his bucket and shovel and knew with confidence I'd be okay and C wouldn't bolt. But just as soon as  DH got back he tried to entice C to the lake for a swim. C took a few tentative steps and then stopped, insisting DH pick him up. (We checked the sand it was warm but not hot- we easily were able to walk without burning our feet, and the other children there were navigating it just fine.)  Da and C got to the waters edge where C wanted to get down- DH happily let him only to have to pick him up just a minute later, after C discovered the horrible stuff was on the bottom of the water too. This continued all weekend.

We of course brought beloved lovey (C's blanket) with us. Which C insisted on carrying EVERYWHERE (we were able to convince him to leave it in the car at the lake- so lovey wouldn't get wet!). Man did lovey pick up dirt!

We tried to keep C's bedtime routine as close to our home one as possible, all the way down to bringing his favorite stories for reading. But it was still off and took twice the amount of time it does at home- even without a nap that day.  He and I went into the tent and read his books, he didn't like the bed DH had set up for him so we had to rearrange the whole tent so his was in the corner. I tried to lay with him but being that's not how we do things at home he wasn't having it. I ended up sitting with him in the tent while he ran around for a bit. After he whacked me in the nose with the flashlight I insisted he lay down. There was some crying associated with that but after 15 minutes he settled enough to let me rub his back and legs, and he whimpered a bit as he dosed off. He slept most of the night without waking- he did call out a few times but was easily hushed back to sleep- very similar to at home.

C loved the caterpillars we came across (there were thousands! of them). He liked the feeling of them crawling all over him and he picked them up with ease- we had to be careful he didn't squish them and he ended up with a lot of pooh on his hands- which at first he hated but we showed him how to wipe them off on his top and then he was good (hey we were camping, we just made do! Haha!).

He continued to ask to go "bye" most of the time but when we asked if he wanted to go home he'd say "no", until shortly before we left- then "bye" was to go home. For the most part he seemed to enjoy himself and we had an "easier" time than we expected. There was a fair share of meltdowns but those came on hikes when he didn't want to move and we'd end up putting him in the back pack. And when we wanted him away from the car or fire.(Oh yeah! He loved the fire, would NOT leave it alone. He kept trying to touch it to see if it was really hot- he didn't seem to believe us when we told him. But this is something we have to watch- at home he'll play with things that hurt him and will get hurt but will go back and seek them out, like he Likes the pain or it's not as painful as he thinks. 2 examples of this behavior at home- He'll touch the oven when its on and hot and say "oww" and "hot" but will keep going back until his little hand is red. Or he'll grab a cloths pin- one with the spring- and put it on his finger, or lip, and proceed to say "Oww"' and indicate he wants help getting if off but then will do it over and over and over again- sometimes leaving it on till- he's capable of taking them off himself- his finger is purple and we take it away and hide it.)

So with time and practice (and maybe a better sleeping arrangement) we'll be able to make this a regular thing without much need for adjustments- or as he gets older it may get more difficult, as he gets more set in his ways. We'll see but we did it!

Wordless Wednesday: Brain Freeze

Before I Had Boys

Before I had children I never wanted to have boys. I envisioned myself with daughters only. My experience had led me to find boys as loud, physical and hard to handle. I came to this conclusion while nannying, babysitting, being a in-home daycare aide and the older sister to a brother. I didn't feel I could handle the needs of boys. That boys between the ages of 6 and 25 are just well not my cup of tea. Men tend to mature rapidly after 25, in my experience and opinion only.

I have 3 girls. And 4 boys. Three loud, physical, never sits still, always dirty and on the go boys- and a fourth that is still too young to know. In 10 years time my home will consist of 3 boys all in the throws of adolescence. And a DH. I will be surround by testosterone.

I've been given 4 boys to raise and love and find the positive in. 3 so far with special needs. I been given them for a reason. Maybe because of my patience with them, maybe to teach me to be open-minded. Maybe just to change my mind. But what I am finding as I raise my boys are the special little things that make them all so worth it.

T's empathy for the under dog, his inquisitive nature. O's always upbeat mood, and ease of picking up skills. C's intelligence and gentleness with others. J's way of looking into your  heart and soul. All my boys have looked at me with complete unconditional love, something I don't always feel coming from my daughters, especially in the throws of puberty. I have raised "Mama's Boys" but as "Mama's Boys" I've raised caring and compassionate sons. They will be men I am proud to be the mother of. I can with 100% certainty say I know my sons and what they are, or are not, capable of. I trust them to be good boys, not to hurt others, do drugs or steal. They don't lie (well sometimes they try as young children but they quickly learn they won't get away with it and it's always better to tell the truth from the beginning.) and they openly share with those in need.

My sons have brought me out of my bubble, my make believe world of sorts, to the real world where they are just a valuable as girls. Just as worthy of love and capable of  being the opposite of what I assumed. I had assumed I'd have a hard time loving boys. But I don't. My heart swells  from their smiles, laughs and hugs. They teach me everyday. Teach me to be open, even more patient and that boys becoming men are not evil but they require just as much gentleness and tenderness as any girl does. They still are rough, and loud, and annoying at times but they are My Boys.  

On My Mind: O

First I'd like to thank Rhonda over at Down To Earth for starting On My Mind. And encourage you to jump over there and check out her blog. It's so fun! I love being one of her followers.

O is on my mind today. I've been doing lots of reading, researching and experimenting with O lately. We don't have an official Dx of SPD (sensory processing disorder) but the more and more I read and try out activities (intended to help children with SPD) the more I am confident of my unofficial Dx. Today I need to contact the clinic and see where we are in his paperwork and getting him in to be seen, and Dx with the child psychologist. The changes I've seen just in the few weeks working with him (in my limited unprofessional ways) are big and encouraging. I know I'm on the right track- Hope has sprung anew.

(O and his distant look he gets sometimes.)

(He'll dig in the sand for just a few minutes.)

(Doing what O does best...Movin'!)

Prom

Last Friday my oldest R had prom. I was excited. She was excited. She had planned to go over to a friends house to get ready....I put a stop to that! LOL I never got to go to prom and having recently watched a few episodes on tv about prom I wanted her here- it was a first for both of us and I wanted to capture the memories, on film and in my head. I got to help her with her hair, dress and make-up and experience the rush of  "Oh no what times is it?!" I love that over the last few years we've come to such a different place, a place of a budding relationship we never had before- I love what I have now with her, I love spending time with her and being able to actually talk with her. I miss her when she's not here.

But we did it and she looked like Cinderella. (Thanks to a friend she was able to wear a beautiful dress!) A few pics I was able to capture of her. (Oh in real life the dress is purple- but on film it comes out this blue. Couldn't for the life of me get the ture color to shine thru!) And as prom was held on a river boat on the Misssissippi (again this river is an improtant center piece of our lives) she set SAIL that night.

C's Words

I wanted to sit down and write out all the words C says, more for my own record (I'll probably be asked to soon enough) but thought someone else may be interested in this too.

Spontaneously said:

• Diego (his word when he wants to watch a movie, any movie)
• Da
• Ba (his word for me- he used to call be Mama but this changed a few months back- he'd stopped calling me ma altogether and it took a bit for us to realize he switched to Ba)
• Ella (for my youngest daughter)
• Iley (for my oldest)
• Dog
• Kitty
• hat
• elmo (this word used to be said all the time but he actually doesn't say it anymore)
• occasionally eat
• cracker
• out
• bye
• hi
• oh man (he says it as one word- not as a sentence)
• car (a few times)
• ball (but not to ask for just as a label)
• door (again a label- while looking at pictures in a book, and again not for a while)
• EE (lovely- for his blanket)
• No (nice a clear- but what toddler doesn't! LOL)
• Ouch
• ish (fish)
• nose
• eye
• feet (not foot)

He imitates alot of what we say, like if you say I love you he'll respond Love you. But not often- he's got a mind of his own! We'll say can you say ....(insert any word here) and he'll look at you and in all seriousness go "No". The other day we were out and I said "Look at the bird in the tree" and he said "bird tree" two words he's never used before, he also hasn't said it since.

He knows a lot of animal sounds but again I don't know if these are considered actual words or just sounds.

• roar (for lion- this is his word for lion also)
• arf (for dog)
• eow (cat)
• makes an elephant sound (not going to try and spell it out! LOL)
• neigh (horse) 
• vroom (for car while playing with his)

He'll point to a letter (to get you to identify it) and say "a" or "e". On occasion while looking at and counting numbers he'll say 1, and 2 but no others. He wants to know the name of colors or shapes but doesn't even try to imitate you.

In the last week he's started to say Thank you to Da when handed something. He doesn't use any possessives (me, I, my, or even mine). When he wants something out of reach he grunts and points leaving us to play the guess game and wait for him to say "Nooo" or shake his head "yes" (no attempt to even say the word- we'll ask but he just says no then, also I don't know if it's developmentally age appropriate but he has a hard time shaking his head up and down for yes- he has to deliberately do it and think about it- you can see his little brain thinking about it and the slow trying to get it out). But still there's lots of grunting going on around here!

I've just been going off the assumption he'd start eventually and I still feel this way but if there are ways to help encourage him to do it (speak) then all the better! I'll add to this list the more I remember, probably through out the next few days.

2 years and 2 months

We went in today for what was C's 2 year well-child check and J's 2 month (even though he's almost 4! we had to wait 2 months for this appt.). Both boys are growing nicely and healthy.


We had our suspicions confirmed, the little red mark on his back is a birth mark (strawberry) and it will continue to grow as he does. At this point its not very noticeable, we'll see how it is when he's older and cares more. (I believe there's some procedure to remove them.) He of course smiled at everyone and got lots of compliments on his cuteness. He's a charmer just like his Da and big brother!

Our surprise came with C. I knew I wanted to talk to our Ped about C being so nonverbal (he really doesn't say much and has around 25 words he uses regularly), not that it concerns me too much- I've learned after 7 kids that each has their own path. But what is "normal" now is different than when my olders were younger, back then they looked for 25-50 words now 100, with simple sentences mixed in. C doesn't really do sentences- well we just don't count "Oh man" and "got cha" as sentences.  So we weren't too surprised when she said she thought a speech evaluation should be done- nothing bad's going to come from it, only good or it'll prove we're just nuts! LOL

But.....

We were a bit surprised when after talking about his sleep patterns (more like insomnia)  and restless legs while sleeping that she wants to have this evaluated at a sleep clinic. She also recommended Melatonin which I had planned on asking about but had slipped my mind. So now we had 2 referrals for C. Then came the 3rd....

We were talking about his "quirks"- having to line his toys up just so, stopping in the middle of what he's doing to close a door or drawer, having to put toys away in the right containers, and the worst one (for us) was his recent attempt to "fix" a spot of peeling paint on the wall and continuing at it for days (got to the point he found a screw driver and made a hole in the plaster- while I was nursing J), he just would not leave it alone. She wants him seen by a Developmental Ped for an OCD evaluation. In combination with the fact he eats weird things (chalk, crayons, paper, dirt- not just mouths them but eats them and likes it) it sent up flags for her. (She did also order a lead test and iron- just to make sure his levels are good.) So now we're on a whole new journey in a whole new direction with another son. But I am really glad she is covering all our bases this time around (kind of dropped the ball with O- never had him evaluated for anything until after the age of 5 and we had teachers telling us to seek help for him).

At this point I'm trying not to expect anything, just keep an open mind- and KNOW I'm going to be even busier! lol

Something I wanted to touch on. My DH. As we were leaving the clinic he stated he couldn't help but feel this is his fault. While in the Marines he suffered a large dose of radiation poisoning (we saw genetic counselors early while I was pregnant with C, who assured us it would not of caused issues in any children we may have- yes issues for him but not his offspring.) and before we ever met he was a Meth addict. He's now guilting himself. I hope I can help him come to an understanding that this is not his fault- I've come a long way with those same feelings- with 2 older boys with their own special issues, it's something I have experience with. (We also have no idea yet what C's, if any, Dxes will be.)

So that's our update for our check ups today!

Girls Day Out #2

Easter Sunday I got the chance to spend time again with my daughters- again it was only two but the oldest and the middle traded. It's wonderful to be able to spend this female time with them. I growing closer to them each and learning little cues that normally in our busy everyday life I may miss.

This week we simply went for a walk in our neighborhood. There's this awesome bike/walking path the city built in the "trench" of an old railroad tracks. It stretches from one end of the city to the other (no we didn't walk the whole way- we'd never make it! lol) with community gardens along the sides. At the end of our walk we were at 2 of the lakes are known here as the chain of lakes (6, I think, lakes that stretch the south side of the city, connected by channels/canals) and explored a different corner of one, that we'd never took much of an interest in before. We found off-leash dog runs (I was in heaven as dogs of any sort call to her) and many Willow trees (these are especially important to me- a tie, if you may, to my Grandfather).

This was a long walk and we won't probably do it often- I got a little too tired at the end. But on this day we had a good time and for the first time since the previous Sunday we had beautiful weather (SUN!)- the Gods were smiling on us. We must be doing something right!

(Mural on the underpass of bridge)

(Garden long path)

(Underside of bridge)

(Girls under Bridge)

(A view of a channel into Lake of the Isles)

(Girls galzing into channel- beyond them Lake Calhoun)

(:D)

(I stalking the dogs at the dog runn- all she could talk about today were dogs, Collie Mixes are her favorite.)

(I under a Willow on the edge of Lake of the Isles- she could've sat there all day.)

(My sacred tree.)

(Don't know what he's riding- looked like a surf board w/a paddle.)

(Goofy R- the Moose Girl.)

(Snoopy's Lucy)

(I know this is random- but the city is doing work on the bridges and if you notice the sign to the right you see it says "Walk Bikes"- it's very narrow over this bridge, like 2 people walking next to each other would have a hard time fitting, so if people ride it creates a dangerous situation. As you probably guess NO one walked their bikes and as walkers we almost felt the need to run to stay safe. And of course nobody tried to cross while I was taking the photo! LOL)