O was recently Dxed with Aspergers Syndrome. As my step-fil put it "like on Parenthood"? Well yes, but O isn't quite as severe. I am grateful for shows like Parenthood, they make it easier for those around us to accept and start to understand better.
But I am a parent of an Aspergers child. I want more than just to understand better. I want to know how other parents deal with life with their aspie. I want to know what is the aspergers, and what is just O. I look for community. For others like us. For understanding.
I've followed a few blogs, liked pages on FB, and am always looking for more. I'm looking for answers. I'm looking for what makes life seem so enjoyable for these parents with aspie kids. I'm looking for hope.
Life with O is a daily struggle. I don't really know what I should, or could expect from him. I don't really know which behaviors are the aspergers and which are just learned (bad) behaviors (from older siblings). I need more insight, inspiration, information.
I want to be able to clearly communicate what Aspergers is, what one can expect, what one might see, what will work for him and what will not, to family, friends, teachers, strangers, to others. I want to write a funny blog about his quirks, about our life, about our struggles and successes. I want to be more like "Them".
I'm learning slowly. I already see, view, Aspergers, and Autism, differently than I did 15 years ago. Back then they were still less common. My ideas were based on the movie "Rainman". And my experience with my step-father working in a "home" for adults with Autism and Downs Syndrome, back in the '80s. Back then Autism wasn't a spectrum, only the most severe were diagnosed. And more often than not, institutionalized. Things have changed.
I once had a friend with a son, dxed on the spectrum. She made sure everyone knew. But she also would make statements about how he'd never live a "normal" life and always live in her care. I feel this was a great disservice to her son. She limited him from the get go. (You may be thinking "well he could be severely autistic, and may not", but in my experience, and having since meet many more AS children, his case wasn't as extreme as she wanted you to believe.) I don't want to limit my son. I have high hopes and dreams for my son. He, and I, don't need pity. We need understanding, and support.
So I read, research, and seek out, those with lives like ours. So I can help him, myself, and maybe someday, others. So I can find the joy in our successes, and actually identify them. So I can really Know my Aspie boy.
Autism and Aspergers are merely handy labels to describe a bunch of correlating characteristics in a group of individuals (which differs from the norm). The real face of autism and aspergers is the individual. Every single one is different and external factors play just as big a part in deciding their abilities as the internal ones do.
ReplyDeleteThat means that "NEVER" is to strong a word to describe any of these children. People shouldn't say "he will never...." because that's imposing your own limits on a child.
With help, many of them can rise significantly above what others see as the limitations of their condition.