Tuesday, June 15, 2010

One Child At a Time: A Series- Part 6

The last in this series. C's story is very similar to my olders with a bit of O's thrown in. I am sure this post will be shorter than the others simply because I have only been blessed just over a year of being his mother. But in that year I have found he is really his own little person, and made me look at how I can parent him differently and how each child is unique in babyhood. I have done nothing by the baby books and have let him lead me in caring for him. I have also had a great support team through friends and especially through my husband, who has surprised me and surpassed any expectation I ever had. Watching him do things naturally has made me a better mother and made me love him even more.

The likely hood of C being here in the first place was less than a 50/50 chance. He is a miracle. Long story short my husband suffered radiation poisoning while in the military and only had a 35% chance of ever having children. C over came the odds. I had an experience like I've never had with any of my others. One morning I felt an electric shot through my body and an instant connectedness to my DH, who was at work. I panicked thinking something was wrong with him and just had to get in contact with him, to make sure he was alright. I tried texting and calling his cell phone and got no reply. I called a friend of mine to help me calm down, and told her what I had felt. We got to talking and DH finally responded he was fine. I started to think and realized what I thought it could be! July 23rd 2008, at 9:35 am C had been conceived! Later my due date showed the date of conception to be that exact date, but even if it hadn't I knew what it was and will never forget that ever.

Because of my husbands medical history with the radiation poisoning, he felt uneasy and needed reassurance that C was normal and healthy. We talked to genetic counselors and had multiple ultrasounds- of course all of which came back fine. With the exception of one US where little man would not turn his head and ache his back at the same time to get a measurement of the space in his neck, nor would he give us a side view to look at his nose- both things Drs look for while checking for Trisomy 21. But we knew in our hearts that he was just being him and didn't want to cooperate- and even later in the pg with other USs he never did look at the camera or do what they wanted him to! lol

I developed GD with C too- bu this time much earlier and it wasn't albe to be controlled wiht diet alone. I did not want to go on insulin and lucky for me a new drug could be used. I was put on the lowest dose possible (and stayed on that dose the whole way through) of Glyburide- a pill that helps control blood sugar. I ate a low carb diet and gained no weight the entire pregnancy- actually be done a pound at the end. And they (the MWs, Drs, and diabetic counselor) kept telling me he would probably be huge and I would have to be induce early, that surely my placenta would fail him. They wanted me to do regular stress tests and USs every week after 36 weeks- I let them do one US and refused after that. He was growing normally (guesstimates put him at about 7lbs, there was plenty of amniotic fluid, the placenta was good, and I was fairing well.) But being on the Glyburide did come with a end date of safety for PG, which is 39 weeks. I tried everything in my power to get labor going naturally- started using EPO (evening primrose oil) at 35 weeks, drinking RLT (raspberry leaf tea), DTD and nipple stimulation- I don't feel these were in vain- they did get me dilated to 3cm and my cervix ripe. I experienced early labor often but it would stall out as soon as I thought it was going good. I became very frustrated, with all of it but especially my body-which again failed me. I know I will never be able to birth a baby without medical intervention.

38 weeks pregnant and nothing. We have to talk about induction- and schedule it. It had been a busy week at the hospital for births so I had to wait till the friday before Easter. I was 39 weeks 3 days pregnant- just 5 days before my EDD. We arrived at the hospital at 7am and I was hooked up to the IV and Pit by 9ish. Contractions started slowly and they couldn't get a good reading on C so I was asked to lay down on my side for 30 mins, I warned them the contractions would probably stop (as usual) but they insisted "just for 30 mins". An hour and a half later I was still on my side, napping, all contractions having stopped. And still no good readings on C. My delivery nurse came in saying I was right and lets get things going again. She bumped up the Pit, let me sit up in bed and It started. I was having camel back contractions within 10 mins. This was about noon. By 1:30ish I couldn't take it anymore and asked for meds- this time (for the first time ever) I got fentinal, instead of morphine (I'm told it's faster acting)- having a shot in your back while in active labor is not the easy way out in the least and there are just some of us that have to do it. While I was bent over I suddenly had the urge to pee and realized I had to push- so they (my nurse, DH, and friend we asked to be with us at C's birth) got me back into the normal "hospital" position. I had gone from being dilated to 7cm to 10cm in one contraction, or about a minute. The drugs had just kicked in which made pushing ineffective. I pushed for over 30 mins when I heard the MW say to a nurse to page the OB on call that I would probably need the vacuum! I was not having that, called upon my experience and strength and pushed- C was out in 3 pushes- the cord wrapped around first his neck then his body- is little hand up in between the cord and his neck, like a built in survival instinct. The MW was literally pulling on the cord to try and get more slack to unwrap it but none was coming and she had to cut his cord right away. But he cried and perked up right away. I birthed the placenta about 10 mins later, something you don't realize how wonderful it feels until you've done it a few times.

C weighed in at 7 lbs. 14oz, 20.5 inchs long at 3:37PM, just 3 and a 1/2 hours after we got labor going again. We breastfed immediately and he looked at us like he had known us forever. Before C was ever born I had brought up to my DH things I did with/to my babies that weren't too "mainstream"- I breastfed, I co-slept (with baby in my bed) and I really wanted to commit to cloth diapers this time around. I also had many reservations about vaccines and wanted to be very informed this time around and not just do "what you're supposed to do"- like I had with my others. To all of my "craziness" my husband said "a duh" seriously. In his family his father co-slept with his baby brother, more out of necessity than choice. Breastfeeding= it's what's best. Cloth diapers= saves him money and better for the environment- all those chemicals on his son's bottom. Vaxes- he wanted more info too!

I felt in my gut there was something different about this baby and being blind to vaxing wasn't an option. We had our first opportunity to decline a vax right there in the hospital at his birth. We were told they were going to give him the Hep A vaccine and we said "um, no we decline. We don't foresee him catching a sexually transmitted disease anywhere in the near future." We put off all vacines until he was 4 months old, at which time we felt a bit pressured (no our Ped isn't the type to take "no" for an answer and brings it up every time) but had done some reserach and knew which we wanted to start- mainly DTP. The clinic we go to uses a vax that includes Hib in with DTPa- so he received the combined shot, and seemed to have a normal reaction much like my olders did. At 6 mths she recommended Prevnar (for meningitis) and we conceded along it to be added- his reaction was worse than the time before, with more crabbiness and a higher fever that lasted a bit longer. At 9 months he received the same 2 as at 6 months. Within 3 hours of his vaxes he had a temperature of 103, had the shakes, no energy, and could barely hold himself up- this lasted 5 days. During this time I called the clinic and talked to the triage nurse- who tried to tell me this was all normal, he probably picked something up in the clinic, was maybe sick when he came in and a number of other things that I feel is just propaganda. I n the least I asked her, to write a note in his chart. At his 12 month appointment, when vaxes came up we told the Ped we had decided to put off all vaxes until further notice, and telling her our experience the time before and how I had asked for a note to be put in his file. She looked and found nothing! And she agreed with us, finally, that it'd be in his best interest (since his reactions seem to be getting worse each time) to wait till he older to try again- and then to do it slowly. She was also going to look into the triage nurses conduct and why my request wasn't honored. We are coming up on his 15 month appointment next month- and are still committed to waiting this out. probably until closer to 3, and then just one vax at a time.

We've co-slept with C since birth, having moved him to his own bed right next to ours a few weeks before his first birthday. We all seem to sleep better and if he ever wakes we just bring him in with us. He'll probably remain in our room for another year or so. It works for us. And in the very beginning, when DH was a new first time father it made him feel better knowing he could just reach over and touch him.

I've owned more babywearing devices with C than all of my other children combined. I could never get enough of it and would happily still wear him (and do when we're out and about) but when he discovered the world, and that his legs could get him anywhere, he no longer allowed in at home. My faves: My Ultimate Baby Wrap (a stretchy wrap) for when he was little tiny- I could have him right up under my chin and feel him breathing against my chest. As he grew he also grew out of the wrap (really it was only good up till he was about 12-15 lbs) and I had to find a new fav- to this day the best investment I've made was in my Ergo! I bought it used for just $60 and will be able to use till he's close to 3! Also it has a very high resale value and I should be able to get most of my $$ back on it! DH loves to wear C too- now and when he was little tiny, but he preferred slings he could just throw over his shoulder and go with. He also brought himself a framed hiking back pack for C- which I hope we can get more use of out this summer.

C and I made it to almost 13 month breastfeeding, I was willing to go longer but he got busy and got moving. And now we are done. But I successfully breastfed him to a year+! I was never successful at pumping for/with him so he got mama's milk directly from the source. I had never breastfed a baby with teeth before and we together got to learn biting your food source is not a good idea and it meant a quick trip off the boob! lol But we did it and if we ever have another, I may shoot for 2 years or more! I happily encourage all PG mamas I know it BF- not just because its best for baby, but because its good for a mama's soul too!

Our journey has just begun- along with baby steps and climbing everything in sight and its a journey where we are learning even more than than before. We are opening our hearts, eyes and minds to everything around us. Finding what comes naturally and what fits best for us. Our decisions may be different than ones we made before but that's a part of growing as humans. We're to be ourselves and let each child be their own person. Where will C brings us? Maybe closer to a natural way life and surely on one wild ride- for he has already proved he's great at getting to the highest heights!

C likes to make himself known- and has no trouble doing it! He has since conception and will probably continue till everyone knows his name!


  1. Can I link this R?? I think you've written so wonderfully about why you made different choices this time around, and I want my kids to read it too...

  2. Erin- no problem link away! Funny thing though my olders don't get it either- why I am doing things differently. I hope it will come with age or parenthood but right now its a battle with them! Even to the point where my eldest son tells me I should be spanking O! and has threatened to do it himself! Something I'm working on here!

  3. You are such a good mama! I am really glad I read this one, not only for the story, but what you said about the vaccinations too. My girls were having reactions to theirs as well, and I've been thinking of not vaccinating at all anymore. Now I know I can just do one at a time, and that it will be easier for them. Thank you for that information!


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