Yesterday was an Amazing Day!

The day your child is diagnosed with a condition can't not always be called amazing but yesterday's was. O's had a "working" Dx of ADHD since last August and it just never seemed the right fit for me (you can read our journey under the High needs-Special Issues tab at the top of my blog), well for him in my opinion. Having an older son with definite ADHD (a very typically example- T would try anything but lose interest very quickly and never finish anything. O, on the other hand, wouldn't try anything that didn't interest him but if the activity was one he wanted to do he'd Have to finish it, even if it took him hours to do so!) I felt confident enough to just KNOW that wasn't O. But it took a long time for me to find what I knew was his "issue" and then getting him the proper Dx and treatment has been a fight.

But yesterday it came. We had a long awaited appointment with his Developmental Pediatrician and we discussed how O did this year in Kindergarten and reports I'd gotten from his teacher throughout the year. How well he'd done and how most of the reports I'd gotten from his teacher were along the lines of him being a distraction to the other kids in class because he'd get done with his work and have nothing to do, how the teacher tried to work with O on getting him to help the other kids that needed it, and the ones he was farther ahead of (he was one of the top kids academically in his class). And how a lot of the issues she saw were with transition and physically being under stimulated. If he got a break to move his body or was able to do his work in a more active way (say standing) he didn't fidget and focused well. All these things and a few other sensory issues that I've come to recognize as sensory issues and not just O annoyances led the doctor to drop the ADHD dx.

He diagnosed him with SPD (sensory processing disorder) and gave us a referral to an OT! (The feeling of relife was huge! Finally!)

So why is this So Amazing? A few reasons....

1. Because now we can get the help he really needs and tools to help with him during the hard times from a professional! Someone who knows what this is all about and not just me trying to find ideas and gropping around in the dark trying to find a shaft of light that could lead us to the door. Someone to help him and us to understand better.

And 2. As much as I hate to say this but ADHD and children Dxed with it have a bad rep. Many parents/adults still view kids with ADHD as little hellions that just need a good spanking or more discipline. When you say "He has ADHD" others often say "Oh well everyone has that. So what meds are you going to use?" Meds are not the answer. And their effectiveness will wear off. Society just plain looks down on those that are ADHD/ADD and with the influx of children being Dxed with it schools are doing less and less to help them, since "everyone" has it and they (the kids) just need to "learn" how to sit still. (Getting T his IEP was a fight and they had to make special learning issues just to get the original IEP in the first place- an IEP just because you have ADHD does not exists as often anymore.) O's Dx of SPD, along with the school he's in, may (I stress may) make that easier- especially if we know he'll be leaving that school. So being able to say to those "others" no he's not ADHD and no just more discipline won't "fix him", saying he has SPD, sensory issues, will help shut them up and give me more of a back bone to tell others to back off.

So yesterday we got our 1st diagnoses of SPD and help is on its way. I feel lucky C is already receiving help from an OT but know his day will come (hopefully in August) when he'll receive his). That at 2 we're way ahead of the game for C and right now it's catch up time with O. But I know he and I will catch up fast- we're both fast learners!

Independence Day

We had an over all good weekend which included a trip to my favorite new store for a replacement Chewy for C, Saturday and a visit to Como Zoo (one of the last "free" zoos left in the US) on Sunday. The middles were off with their dad and the oldest 2 with friends- a rare occurrence of only having the 2 littlest, made for a well lets to this kind time.

With the busy weekend we decided to keep things mellow for the 4th. Took the youngers to the wading pool and bbq at home. For a few days before Dh and I had been debating whether to skip the big fire works show or not. Loud noises and sensory sensitive children don't always mix well.

Last year (well every year before this actually) we didn't have a name or idea Why the boys were so sensitive to the big booms- I knew what to expect from O, his one true reaction has always stayed the same blood curdling screaming and a little boy trying to run and begging and sobbing "Go home now!" He's done this since he was a year and a half. None of my others did this- funny story my oldest son at a year and a half fell asleep at the beginning of the show and stayed asleep all the way through the finale! I never understood how he could do that- so the opposite of O and C.

Last year was the first time we brought C to the show. O did quiet well- he's learned his own adaptive skills (covering his ears with his hands- and lets out a little bark of excitement on the really loud ones) overall he enjoys seeing them now. C reacted much the same way O did at a year. Screaming and trying to run. Panic all though his little body. A year later he still doesn't react well to loud unexpected noises. And little J is worse- even just his brothers playing too loudly sets him into hysterical crying, especially when he's tired.

So we made a tough decision- to break tradition and forgo going to see fireworks. Much to the dismay of the younger girls (the oldest two were off with friends). But we didn't want it to stink completely and bought some legal fireworks (here they can't launch off the ground) and sparklers. P got the honor of lighting them, at 12 she needed a bit more excitement then just watching, and with us Right There we felt comfortable letting her. I, O and C enjoyed watching- their favorites were the Mini Mes and the T-Rex, both had the whizzing sound associated with fireworks but at a much smaller decibel. Both of these did cause a few screeches from the boys but happy ones. Little J was off in dream land before the 1st one was lit. (He has a very rigid, self induced sleep time of 8:30!)

What will we do next year? Not sure- we'll see how the youngest two are then. We'll just take it as it comes and plan a little bit future in advance.

Toys or Tools?

What do you see here?

A bunch of junk toys? Party gifts?

Pieces of plastic that would soon end up in the trash?

Not Me! These are new tools for C and O. C's OT suggested a chewy for C- something safe and designated, meant just for his oral fixation. The bird whistle to help him strengthen his jaw muscles, same idea for the dino copter but I bought that one more for O, he too has an oral fixation- also always chewing on something, his shirt collar, a toy. (The store where I purchased these carry a necklace, similar to those springy bracelet things that used to be popular, that soon I want to get for O- perfect for him to wear all day and chew when he has the urge.) The Wikki Stix are also for O- to be saved for a time where I need him to still quietly and entertain himself- they have much larger packs too.

For "normal" kids all these things would be just a whimsical little toy to be used and cherished for a few hours, maybe a few days but for my oral seekers these are the tools they need to stimulate their senses. There are so many other tools out there, I spent an hour just looking at all the options and loving the ideas I got for future birthdays/gifts. (The Autism Shop) I am lucky to have this locally and very thankful C's OT suggested it!

Funny little story... When I came home from shopping yesterday C was chewing on the corner of his lovey (blanket)- this was a new thing and the perfect time to give him his chewy! I washed it off, handed it to him and watched as he instinctively put it in his mouth and started chewing away. The smile on his face was priceless! You can see it in his eyes in these photos. Just joyous!

Evals and Updates This Week! (6/23)

Last Friday we had C's appointment with the sleep specialist. Very nice doctor (the first "official" to say Sensory Integration Dysfunction and that sleep issues are often seen in children with it- that moment felt so BIG!). C was officially diagnosed with insomnia and restless leg syndrome. The insomnia is being treated with Melatonin. He's been taking the highest dose (3ml) from the get go, Friday night being the first. Straight off the bat we saw improvement right away- he fell asleep within minutes and slept peacefully through the night. The next days nap was his normal 4 hours (yes you read that right- 4 hours and most days we'd have to wake him). Next night it was the same but the nap was shorter just an hour and a half. Sunday night we noticed he sleep cried/whimpered the whole night (he's cried/whimpered while sleeping before but just a moment or two.) long. And he woke earlier Monday morning, up by 6am (normally more like 7). He napped for two hours that day, waking on his own. I learned from my DH today that the past 2 nights C's woken and stayed awake for at least and hour each time, and not settling fully back down and awake for the day at 6am. He napped for 3 hours today before I went and woke him. I'm not sure what exactly to do, I am going to try calling the Dr. tomorrow and see if we should try lowering the dosage. But we are seeing results.

C's 1st OT appointment with the therapist from EI (early intervention) on Tuesday was canceled because the paper work (on their side) wasn't complete but I did get a phone call from her today and we have rescheduled for next Tuesday and she's bringing the paperwork to sign. His "teacher" will also be attending- both are new to us.

And finally on C, I got a phone call on Tuesday saying there were openings for his evaluation and we scheduled for today. Off we went, just C and I, taking 2 buses each way, really it's not that far from our house though- about a mile and a half! Haha. But he did gain two new words on our trip, the first being bus (but pronounced besh) and the second pizza (we walked past a pizza place with the most wonderful smell leaking out the door. Being a child that loves to smell things he immediately said "ummm" and I replied "Do you smell the pizza?" "Pizza!" he said with such clarity.) He was so excited to be on the city bus he was shaking and almost biting his fingers! But on our last bus home all he wanted to do was go explore the bus and a meltdown (a mild one) ensued complete with him throwing himself backward and hitting his head on the bar of the seat in front! Ahh the looks I got but really it didn't matter we were blocks from our stop and I knew he was hungry, tired and done. And his curls and smile make up for it all!

But the appointment... went very well. I love the therapist- he'll be working with, L, and she's so good with him already. She worked with him in ways that encouraged him to stay on task with rewards and gentle reminders. (Unlike the EI ST who did the eval a few weeks earlier who seemed to want to make him do it her way and would take everything away from him that kept his interest longer than she wanted. I'm unsure if she'll be his ST this summer or if she was just for the eval. We'll see how it goes with time. She was kind just a little "stuck" herself.) She suggested an OT eval, something no one else has, and helped us get on the waiting list for that (it's a few months wait!). He'll have ST (speech therapy) once a week, starting next week. And she, like the EI's ST, agrees his receptive skills are good but he's behind in expressive. She's writing out her official report and getting it out to us in the next few days.

Our ducks are in order. He'll continue to receive help with EI until he turns 3, at which time I believe he'll be re-evaluated for continued services. As far as the private sector, through our hospital/clinic he's eligible but our state government may be shutting down (much like what happened with the federal government a few months ago) and we may loose our insurance (through the state) for a time. I'm trying to see it as a "short" break and hoping it'll last less than a month- if the Governor doesn't decide to by-pass it all and keep assistance programs going (that's a hope to!). I'm not scheduling any appointments for July, just in case. And am talking to all our providers about the situation. I hope we don't loose any slots while waiting.

And moving on to O- I am in email contact with his teacher about the "lost" paper work she has to complete for the third time and we should have those on Monday. I tried setting up an appointment with his Dev. Ped . today but the only openings he had were in July so I'm waiting...again. I'm calling our regular Ped. to ask her about an OT eval

So there's the last weeks update. 2 therapies scheduled for next week- one through EI and one private, for C. And O graduates from Kindergarten (there will be pics next Friday!)- in August he'll be attending school all day! Wow!

C's EI Eval Update

Last week we had the beginning of C's evaluations- this time with EI (Early Intervention). His private evals with the specialist are all still pending. EI seems to do things a bit faster, surprisingly since they're with the school district. Last Tuesday we had his first speech evaluation and Wednesday was with the OT. Nothing came from either except that they found they needed to do more evals with his speech, which took place yesterday. And the OT thought she might need to have us do a more in depth sensory questionnaire, but found she'd received enough information from us at the meeting.

They played games at both and listened to him speak and saw a few of his "quirks"/sensory issues- he's not only a seeker but has a few avoidant issues to. He showed them mild versions of his meltdowns- not anywhere near what he has around us. They looked at his different language milestones- he's very good with receptive language (where he understands perfectly what you're telling him or asking him to do things), and his spontaneous language skills (things he's says on his own or when you ask him what something is/name something) lack. He also a lot of what I call mumble grumble- similar to what a young toddler does (12-18 mth old) where he speaks very quietly and is still a lot of nonsense sounds.

Next week we are meeting to finalize our IFSP (Individual Family Service Plan- much like an IEP for school aged kids). We were asked which 3 things we'd like to concentrate on for now. We said 1) Communicative speech (so we can understand his needs/desires better). 2) Flexibility (right now he's very inflexible. For ex. on walks he will pick a treasure for the day- something in his own head- and HAS TO pick up that treasure every time he sees it. Like it could be dead leaves, he has to pick up every. dead. leaf. he. sees. on the walk, to the point where he starts to make you carry them. And he won't stop the entire time, there is no distracting him. This makes for very long but short walks- we don't get very far, but can be gone 45 mins easily.) And 3) Stopping the eating of non-food items. The summer session starts soon, so she is pushing the IFSP though, that way we'll start by the end of June, instead of waiting till after the 4th of July holiday. He is eligible till the age of 3, when we'll reassess C and his needs.

Interesting side note here- A friend of mine recently had her son (same age) evaluated by EI in her state (different state) and the Speech therapist refused to acknowledge her son's signs and tried to make him speak the words instead, basically she seemed against the use of signing for speaking kids. Our ST actually asked if we minded her using and teaching C basic ones (that we don't know) so he could communicate better. Just thought that was interesting- the differences by region.

We're still going through with the private evaluations to- the ones with our hospital. But we still waiting on many of those. We see the sleep specialist next Friday, have an appointment with the Developmental Pediatrician in August and are still waiting for an opening with the Speech Department (this one could come tomorrow or months from now- so very good we were working with EI and their ST now). EI doesn't do any Dxing of course, just finds whether or not he qualifies for help and makes sure we get them (like this fall we'll probably work some on C's social skills- he lacks greatly here too, coming from a large family does not necessarily guarantee that a child will have good social skills. He's very comfortable with family but get him around others his age and he clams up. They suggest ECFE classes for us, and will find us transportation, if we don't have it.). It'll be the Doctors we see that may give us names to some of his issues. We're moving forward, slowly rolling along.

Camping With C (Seeking, Avoiding, and Lovey)

You may have read my post on our camping trip but I wanted to do one just on C and our experience camping with him. We knew going into our adventure that we'd face challenges having to do with C's sensory seeking and avoiding issues so we were prepared for almost anything that could happen. And at home we have a very strict routine when it comes to bed time with C- not just from us setting routines but from C's need to have things just so- if we veer too far off course it can all unravel so fast. We have two choices in life with C- try and work with him and help him learn skills to be a bit flexible or stay home for the rest of our lives. The second isn't really an option because we want to experience the world and give that to our children, they seem to love the experiences too. (C's new thing the past few weeks is to ask to go "Bye", he loves to be out and about. Mostly its just the running but he doesn't mind were he runs.)

I don't know how exactly I'm going to write this out... I think I'll just talk about the experience and how it relates to the photos and throw in anything I missed at the end.

C's a runner- put on a straight safe path and he'll just go, until of course something catches his eye and he HAS to stop and investigate, or pick up a treasure. Try and get him moving before he's ready again and a meltdown will happen.

His treasures tend to be picked for a theme in his head. On this particular hike he choose dead leaves. Sometimes its sticks, rocks or flowers.

Running with a fresh group of leaves.

C spent a good few hours playing with the car doors. Open and close, open and close. And they had to be closed just right- it made it very difficult to unpack/pack the van, he'd get quite angry when we needed to leave the doors open. At one point he became stuck on the gas door- he would not leave it alone...DH ended up pulling out the duct tape and taping it shut just so C wouldn't break the door- C was trying to pull it off.

We know some of this is normal toddler investigation, but with C was a bit overload. Most toddlers, in my experience, will eventually loose interest and wonder away but C didn't and couldn't be distracted, unless we left the camp site.

He really wanted to go into the lake and loved it when he got in, until he realized there was SAND on the bottom. Then it was "Up Da, up!"

We weren't sure how he'd react to the sand at the beach but we had an idea from a recent trip to the park, where he wanted to take his shoes off but when he did get them off he wouldn't move and would keep stepping in an attempt to get his feet out of the sand.

At the lake he was fine up until we had to undress, which included socks and shoes, to go into the water. He wouldn't move, not one step and seemed utterly relieved when we put him on the towel out of the sand. I hope this doesn't seem cruel but we used this to our advantage for the few minutes we needed so DH could go change into his suit and I needed to nurse J- he sat C on a towel with his bucket and shovel and knew with confidence I'd be okay and C wouldn't bolt. But just as soon as  DH got back he tried to entice C to the lake for a swim. C took a few tentative steps and then stopped, insisting DH pick him up. (We checked the sand it was warm but not hot- we easily were able to walk without burning our feet, and the other children there were navigating it just fine.)  Da and C got to the waters edge where C wanted to get down- DH happily let him only to have to pick him up just a minute later, after C discovered the horrible stuff was on the bottom of the water too. This continued all weekend.

We of course brought beloved lovey (C's blanket) with us. Which C insisted on carrying EVERYWHERE (we were able to convince him to leave it in the car at the lake- so lovey wouldn't get wet!). Man did lovey pick up dirt!

We tried to keep C's bedtime routine as close to our home one as possible, all the way down to bringing his favorite stories for reading. But it was still off and took twice the amount of time it does at home- even without a nap that day.  He and I went into the tent and read his books, he didn't like the bed DH had set up for him so we had to rearrange the whole tent so his was in the corner. I tried to lay with him but being that's not how we do things at home he wasn't having it. I ended up sitting with him in the tent while he ran around for a bit. After he whacked me in the nose with the flashlight I insisted he lay down. There was some crying associated with that but after 15 minutes he settled enough to let me rub his back and legs, and he whimpered a bit as he dosed off. He slept most of the night without waking- he did call out a few times but was easily hushed back to sleep- very similar to at home.

C loved the caterpillars we came across (there were thousands! of them). He liked the feeling of them crawling all over him and he picked them up with ease- we had to be careful he didn't squish them and he ended up with a lot of pooh on his hands- which at first he hated but we showed him how to wipe them off on his top and then he was good (hey we were camping, we just made do! Haha!).

He continued to ask to go "bye" most of the time but when we asked if he wanted to go home he'd say "no", until shortly before we left- then "bye" was to go home. For the most part he seemed to enjoy himself and we had an "easier" time than we expected. There was a fair share of meltdowns but those came on hikes when he didn't want to move and we'd end up putting him in the back pack. And when we wanted him away from the car or fire.(Oh yeah! He loved the fire, would NOT leave it alone. He kept trying to touch it to see if it was really hot- he didn't seem to believe us when we told him. But this is something we have to watch- at home he'll play with things that hurt him and will get hurt but will go back and seek them out, like he Likes the pain or it's not as painful as he thinks. 2 examples of this behavior at home- He'll touch the oven when its on and hot and say "oww" and "hot" but will keep going back until his little hand is red. Or he'll grab a cloths pin- one with the spring- and put it on his finger, or lip, and proceed to say "Oww"' and indicate he wants help getting if off but then will do it over and over and over again- sometimes leaving it on till- he's capable of taking them off himself- his finger is purple and we take it away and hide it.)

So with time and practice (and maybe a better sleeping arrangement) we'll be able to make this a regular thing without much need for adjustments- or as he gets older it may get more difficult, as he gets more set in his ways. We'll see but we did it!

Before I Had Boys

Before I had children I never wanted to have boys. I envisioned myself with daughters only. My experience had led me to find boys as loud, physical and hard to handle. I came to this conclusion while nannying, babysitting, being a in-home daycare aide and the older sister to a brother. I didn't feel I could handle the needs of boys. That boys between the ages of 6 and 25 are just well not my cup of tea. Men tend to mature rapidly after 25, in my experience and opinion only.

I have 3 girls. And 4 boys. Three loud, physical, never sits still, always dirty and on the go boys- and a fourth that is still too young to know. In 10 years time my home will consist of 3 boys all in the throws of adolescence. And a DH. I will be surround by testosterone.

I've been given 4 boys to raise and love and find the positive in. 3 so far with special needs. I been given them for a reason. Maybe because of my patience with them, maybe to teach me to be open-minded. Maybe just to change my mind. But what I am finding as I raise my boys are the special little things that make them all so worth it.

T's empathy for the under dog, his inquisitive nature. O's always upbeat mood, and ease of picking up skills. C's intelligence and gentleness with others. J's way of looking into your  heart and soul. All my boys have looked at me with complete unconditional love, something I don't always feel coming from my daughters, especially in the throws of puberty. I have raised "Mama's Boys" but as "Mama's Boys" I've raised caring and compassionate sons. They will be men I am proud to be the mother of. I can with 100% certainty say I know my sons and what they are, or are not, capable of. I trust them to be good boys, not to hurt others, do drugs or steal. They don't lie (well sometimes they try as young children but they quickly learn they won't get away with it and it's always better to tell the truth from the beginning.) and they openly share with those in need.

My sons have brought me out of my bubble, my make believe world of sorts, to the real world where they are just a valuable as girls. Just as worthy of love and capable of  being the opposite of what I assumed. I had assumed I'd have a hard time loving boys. But I don't. My heart swells  from their smiles, laughs and hugs. They teach me everyday. Teach me to be open, even more patient and that boys becoming men are not evil but they require just as much gentleness and tenderness as any girl does. They still are rough, and loud, and annoying at times but they are My Boys.  

On My Mind: O

First I'd like to thank Rhonda over at Down To Earth for starting On My Mind. And encourage you to jump over there and check out her blog. It's so fun! I love being one of her followers.

O is on my mind today. I've been doing lots of reading, researching and experimenting with O lately. We don't have an official Dx of SPD (sensory processing disorder) but the more and more I read and try out activities (intended to help children with SPD) the more I am confident of my unofficial Dx. Today I need to contact the clinic and see where we are in his paperwork and getting him in to be seen, and Dx with the child psychologist. The changes I've seen just in the few weeks working with him (in my limited unprofessional ways) are big and encouraging. I know I'm on the right track- Hope has sprung anew.

(O and his distant look he gets sometimes.)

(He'll dig in the sand for just a few minutes.)

(Doing what O does best...Movin'!)

My Kid Eats Crayons

2 year old C eats crayons, and chalk, and sand, and Styrofoam, and wood chips, and....well you get the point. Lots of non-food items. If he just mouthed them or chewed them up and spit it out I'd pass it off as age and something he'd grow out of but no he eats them. He seeks them out, finds them, goes and hides with them- all to ingest them (this makes for very colorful diapers too!). And man if you happen to find him and take it from him there's war! He'll cram it into his mouth whole and chew as fast as he can- try and put your finger in that little mouth and watch out you WILL get bit. He also likes to lick windows (yup he's one of those! LOL), walls, gates and people.

This is one of the concerns we brought up to our Pediatrician a few weeks ago. She was concerned about PICA (very low iron in the blood, makes you crave weird non-food items) and had his hemoglobin (and lead since he's eaten paint in our house and sand/dirt from outside) and his results came back normal (11.4 UL/G- I think those are the letters that go with it, the number I know for sure). (His lead came back within safe levels too- a 5.) So at this point there isn't a medical explanation for his behavior.

(Eating chalk!)

Now we wait and see about our referrals- we have one, possibly two that'll help us to find out what we're dealing with. The developmental pediatrician and Early Intervention. But to me this seems like a sensory issue, whether through taste or texture. A few other things that point me in this direction- and these have to do with real food- he won't eat root vegetables that are cooked (soft), that includes mashed potatoes (like any kid he will eat french fries, as long as their not thick cut/steak fires/jo-jo potatoes), sweet potatoes, carrots, yams, parsnips, etc or eggs (cooked anyway). He'll eat most of them raw (no I don't normally feed my dc raw potatoes but C recently grabbed one and started eating it). He doesn't like a whole lot of carby foods- he's only recently started eating cereal, bread, and crackers. He's developed a taste for spicy foods and (my stomach rolls on this one!) hot and spicy pork rinds (my dh is from the South- pork rinds are his thing). The spicier or sweeter the food the more he'll eat. Too bland- it goes to the dog.

(Eating sand)

I know some of this is normal, I've had 5 dc before him, and more than a fair share of picky eaters and there's still the possibility he'll grow out of it but a few answers to the questioning looks I can get while out at playgroups and playgrounds would be nice. "Hey my kid just eats crayons" isn't cutting it anymore.

(Eating snow)

C's Words

I wanted to sit down and write out all the words C says, more for my own record (I'll probably be asked to soon enough) but thought someone else may be interested in this too.

Spontaneously said:

• Diego (his word when he wants to watch a movie, any movie)
• Da
• Ba (his word for me- he used to call be Mama but this changed a few months back- he'd stopped calling me ma altogether and it took a bit for us to realize he switched to Ba)
• Ella (for my youngest daughter)
• Iley (for my oldest)
• Dog
• Kitty
• hat
• elmo (this word used to be said all the time but he actually doesn't say it anymore)
• occasionally eat
• cracker
• out
• bye
• hi
• oh man (he says it as one word- not as a sentence)
• car (a few times)
• ball (but not to ask for just as a label)
• door (again a label- while looking at pictures in a book, and again not for a while)
• EE (lovely- for his blanket)
• No (nice a clear- but what toddler doesn't! LOL)
• Ouch
• ish (fish)
• nose
• eye
• feet (not foot)

He imitates alot of what we say, like if you say I love you he'll respond Love you. But not often- he's got a mind of his own! We'll say can you say ....(insert any word here) and he'll look at you and in all seriousness go "No". The other day we were out and I said "Look at the bird in the tree" and he said "bird tree" two words he's never used before, he also hasn't said it since.

He knows a lot of animal sounds but again I don't know if these are considered actual words or just sounds.

• roar (for lion- this is his word for lion also)
• arf (for dog)
• eow (cat)
• makes an elephant sound (not going to try and spell it out! LOL)
• neigh (horse) 
• vroom (for car while playing with his)

He'll point to a letter (to get you to identify it) and say "a" or "e". On occasion while looking at and counting numbers he'll say 1, and 2 but no others. He wants to know the name of colors or shapes but doesn't even try to imitate you.

In the last week he's started to say Thank you to Da when handed something. He doesn't use any possessives (me, I, my, or even mine). When he wants something out of reach he grunts and points leaving us to play the guess game and wait for him to say "Nooo" or shake his head "yes" (no attempt to even say the word- we'll ask but he just says no then, also I don't know if it's developmentally age appropriate but he has a hard time shaking his head up and down for yes- he has to deliberately do it and think about it- you can see his little brain thinking about it and the slow trying to get it out). But still there's lots of grunting going on around here!

I've just been going off the assumption he'd start eventually and I still feel this way but if there are ways to help encourage him to do it (speak) then all the better! I'll add to this list the more I remember, probably through out the next few days.

2 years and 2 months

We went in today for what was C's 2 year well-child check and J's 2 month (even though he's almost 4! we had to wait 2 months for this appt.). Both boys are growing nicely and healthy.


We had our suspicions confirmed, the little red mark on his back is a birth mark (strawberry) and it will continue to grow as he does. At this point its not very noticeable, we'll see how it is when he's older and cares more. (I believe there's some procedure to remove them.) He of course smiled at everyone and got lots of compliments on his cuteness. He's a charmer just like his Da and big brother!

Our surprise came with C. I knew I wanted to talk to our Ped about C being so nonverbal (he really doesn't say much and has around 25 words he uses regularly), not that it concerns me too much- I've learned after 7 kids that each has their own path. But what is "normal" now is different than when my olders were younger, back then they looked for 25-50 words now 100, with simple sentences mixed in. C doesn't really do sentences- well we just don't count "Oh man" and "got cha" as sentences.  So we weren't too surprised when she said she thought a speech evaluation should be done- nothing bad's going to come from it, only good or it'll prove we're just nuts! LOL

But.....

We were a bit surprised when after talking about his sleep patterns (more like insomnia)  and restless legs while sleeping that she wants to have this evaluated at a sleep clinic. She also recommended Melatonin which I had planned on asking about but had slipped my mind. So now we had 2 referrals for C. Then came the 3rd....

We were talking about his "quirks"- having to line his toys up just so, stopping in the middle of what he's doing to close a door or drawer, having to put toys away in the right containers, and the worst one (for us) was his recent attempt to "fix" a spot of peeling paint on the wall and continuing at it for days (got to the point he found a screw driver and made a hole in the plaster- while I was nursing J), he just would not leave it alone. She wants him seen by a Developmental Ped for an OCD evaluation. In combination with the fact he eats weird things (chalk, crayons, paper, dirt- not just mouths them but eats them and likes it) it sent up flags for her. (She did also order a lead test and iron- just to make sure his levels are good.) So now we're on a whole new journey in a whole new direction with another son. But I am really glad she is covering all our bases this time around (kind of dropped the ball with O- never had him evaluated for anything until after the age of 5 and we had teachers telling us to seek help for him).

At this point I'm trying not to expect anything, just keep an open mind- and KNOW I'm going to be even busier! lol

Something I wanted to touch on. My DH. As we were leaving the clinic he stated he couldn't help but feel this is his fault. While in the Marines he suffered a large dose of radiation poisoning (we saw genetic counselors early while I was pregnant with C, who assured us it would not of caused issues in any children we may have- yes issues for him but not his offspring.) and before we ever met he was a Meth addict. He's now guilting himself. I hope I can help him come to an understanding that this is not his fault- I've come a long way with those same feelings- with 2 older boys with their own special issues, it's something I have experience with. (We also have no idea yet what C's, if any, Dxes will be.)

So that's our update for our check ups today!

Wordless Wednesday: Never a Tear was Shed

Update to School

I wanted to update on my post Schooling in Crisis. T came home the other day with a new announcement that the school may NOT be closing now. That someone new has agreed to be the executive director and it'll probably stay open. I've come to the conclusion that a wait and see attitude will be best and if this summer I have to start a new search then I will- hey I've done it before I'll do it again, it's what's best for him that matters.

But I do have to put out there I'm feeling it's a bit irresponsible for these adults to keep talking to the kids about adult issues without cluing in the parents- I haven't heard one thing from the school. Thanks for keeping us the parents in the loop!

Schooling in Crisis

(Came on here to write this post and saw I've gained 3 more followers just overnight! Wow.:D )

My oldest daughter (a senior) has been in 6 different schools, my middle daughter (in 6th) 8, youngest two (in K and 3rd) kids 2, and my oldest son 6 (in 10th). But now it looks like we'll have to find a new school for him for next year- he just announced last night his current school (and the one we all love- a Waldorf based charter high school) will be closing after this year. This so sucks! It completely frustrates and irritates me to the core- (just a little vent now) after trying another charter school last year that was very new and having serious financial difficulties and couldn't keep a good teacher to save their lives, we found this one and he's grown so much, they support him and have him learning- not only academics but life skills too, they truly honor his IEP and just in general it was a gold mine of a school! And now we have to try again. And to top it all off- LOTS of charter schools will be closing after this year.

Why? One reason, and its a reoccurring theme: Money. The state is with holding public money these schools are entitled to. Money they are supposed to be receiving for each child that attends. (More on charter schools.) Charter schools are backed by private "investors"- corporations usually, but in this economy if they're struggling they don't have the extra money to back the school. And in the case of T's school, one backer is suing the other- and now no funding at all is going to the school. No money= no school. This is a crisis and a shame. (Especially since this is one of the longest running charter schools in the area, used to be a private school but wanted to open it up to more kids so they turned charter back in 1993.)

Again the world is forgetting our most important resource...Our Children. They have been over looked so often that they seem to be invisible.

Why have my children been is so many different schools? Two reasons- moving (they've done a lot) and lack of (what I feel) schools that put them first. I'm over public schools here...I have one child in one but that is because of her and lack options in our area. The rest are in charter schools- and the common theme for all the charter schools they attend is "meeting the individual needs of each child" and they do!

We're at a place where we think "if we'd have known all this this we may have made different decisions for the up coming years"- we had planned on keeping T in this school until he graduated in 2 years, putting off moving out of state (closer to DH's family). This is financially a smart move for us- housing prices are 1/2 as much there with wages equal, but we wanted what was best for him. Now....there's no point but no money to move. 

So we'll have to hunt for another school. He can't be in a mainstream public school, he'd get lost and end up failing...so much for no child left behind huh?! I know I'm not the only parent out there that's facing schools in crisis. I hear it in blogs, on FB, in mainstream news reports and "alternative" publications. More and more parents are turning to homeschooling, this is not an option for us. The nation's schools as a whole are failing. Thank you Mr. (I refuse to call him President, as I never voted for him) Bush and you're ingenious No Child Left Behind- it's not NO Child, it's ALL children.

Hey Government Officials- we want money going to schools, schools that meet our childrens' needs and individual learning styles, schools that care. Not to your stupid bullshit. Maybe just maybe if we concentrate on what's really important and not keeping the US #1 bullshitter then the World would like us! Hmm just a thought.

Okay rough morning here- too much going on that's interfered with this blog and now it's seeping into my writing, so I'll say "Goodbye".

Happy Birthday C!

My Blond haired, Blue eyed boy is 2 today!

Celebrating 1!

 We will NOT be serving sand at his party!

Or snow!

Happy Birthday C! We Love You!

Read his story here!

SPD? ADHD?

As a mother I've come to learn to trust my gut when it comes to my children. (For ex. C and vaccines- something told me to go slow, not to do too many at a time- that proved to be true. When at 9 months he reacted to the 2 vaccines he'd received, in a way none of my other children had. Luckily I'd followed my gut and now have more confidence in myself and my gut.)

Since birth I felt, No! Knew O was a bit different than my others. When he first learned to pull up to standing, around 9 months, if he fell and bumped his head (something all my kids did to some degree) he'd start screaming, crying and seemed to hold his breath, to the point he'd pass out and as things went on, he'd have what I can only describe as a mini-seizure. The first time it happened I was nearly scared to death- didn't know what to do at all, and the only thing that came to mind was to slip my finger down his little throat and get him to gag a bit (not to the point of vomiting- just to get the reflex going). I'd already tried blowing on his face and that had no effect- I was at whits end. These "episodes" lasted till almost 3, and went away shortly after getting much needed glasses.

The only way to describe O I could come up with was "high needs". He was always on the go- moving, crying, screeching! Happy but not. I didn't know how to deal with a child like this, none of the 4 before him had been "difficult". I thought with time, age, and maturity he'd "grow" out of it. As he aged it became clearer how different he was from others his age. He wasn't growing out of it. I knew it was time to seek help, he would soon be in school and I really didn't want him to struggle as my oldest son did (Dxed w/ADHD and ODD), and getting help sooner was best.

I talked with his Pediatrician and she agreed and gave us a referral to a Developmental Pediatrician. His Dx was ADHD and seemed to lean towards ODD too. But to me these were not O! Having one son with the same disorders and them being polar opposites, it's too hard to just take it and go. My gut was (is) telling me this isn't right- this is not O.

Recently a friend of mine posted about SPD and a comparison to ADHD. Just the initial post made me want to look more into this. People are misdiagnosed all the time, and SPDs are just really coming into light here- so maybe the Doctor was wrong! (This for me is NOT to much of a stretch- I don't trust unconditionally.) The same strong mama that posted about SPD originally, recommended the book Sensational Kids: Hope and Help for Children with Sensory Processing Disorder by Lucy Jane Miller , which I hope to get soon. All this has led me to find as much info as I can.

I found this site.... and on it a checklist. Yesterday I went through it and got some interesting results, not surprising in the least but interesting, something to take to the doctors.

What I found (and yes I realize I am not a trained professional but I am an intelligent woman who reads quite well and understands what I am reading. Also I know my child better than Anyone else out there!):

(I'm only putting down the results that scored high/many.)

He got 9/12 on Hyposensitivity to Touch. (Signs of Tactile Dysfunction)

10/11 on Hyposensitivity to Movement. (Signs of Vestibular Dysfunction)

16/17 on Sensory Seeking Behaviors. (Signs of Proprioceptive Dysfunction)

7/9 on Hyposensitivity to Sounds. (Signs of Auditory Dysfunction)

6/8 on Hyposensitivity to Oral Input. (Signs of Oral Input Dysfunction)

And on the Social, Emotional, Play, and Self-Regulation Dysfunction Part-

He scored 7/8 on Emotional.

7/12 on Internal Regulation. (This is by far the lowest score but there are 3 I have no clue how to answer because I've never known to look.)

So what to do with this information and/or what's next!? Well I'll bring it to the doctors and see if I can't get them on board, I'll find ways to help him myself (with or without a Dx) and I keep reading (you can never have too much information!). I don't know how this will play out with the Docs- I'm feeling more and more like they're on the defensive with more and more parents questioning them and being informed, making choices and questioning their abilities. I may need to find a new doctor.....

But I need to help my son.

Baby J is Here!

No this is not my birth story post...yet- I'll get there soon, I hope. I'm still processing and adjusting to the new guy and life's unexpected set backs. But this is a bit of an announcement of sorts:

J born at home, on 1/20/11 @ 4:34am after a short 3.5 hour labor. Weighing in at 7lbs 14oz and 19 3/4 inches long! He's my best nurser yet and loves to sleep. A bit of a serious guy already and very contemplative.

Born on the January Full Moon- the Wolf Moon, on the cusp of Capricorn and Aquarius. Numerology wise he's a 7 (1+2+0+2+0+1+1=7, his birth date added together) - the seventh child of his mother. These things mean much to me and I can't wait to look into them deeper.

And now for a pic!

Birth Story to follow soon... I aim for another week!

Tot School Blog

So I am on break from this blog at the moment, taking some personal time and finding joy again. But I've been inspired to start another, that is less personal and really about what I am trying to do more of...teaching my children, connecting with C and teaching him as I did the olders. Like I said in my last post I'll be back here in time but for now come read my weekly Tot School blog.



Alphabet Blocks and Caleb (A-B-C's Tot School)

Cousins C & J

My sister's son, J, is 2 and a 1/2 months younger that C, so as they grow their age difference is disappearing. J is the only nephew (or niece for that matter) that I have and the only cousin my kids have on my side. And this puts him a special place here. One of ours.




C and J last summer at R's 16 birthday party. C is about 4.5 months old and J 6 weeks. C towers over J and playing together consisted of laying on the same blanket!







Here I think C is about 9 or 10 months old and J 7 or 8 months. Look how quickly he's caught up to C!




Playing together actually consists of interacting now! They even seem to have a conversation together!




C showing off to J!





And now he's just being a bully! Poor J!





Here they are this summer! C is 16 months and J 14 months. Evenly matched in all ways now- and the give and take is just as equal!

Playing with their Uncle J's favorite toy when he was a kid- TMNT! Boy are they boys!

And now onto the train table (LOL) and the castle! Look at the adorable baby butts!

J is such a ham! WE love him to death!