Monday, February 21, 2011

FB "Friends"

I'm on FB. But now a days who isn't. I think I only know of one person who's not- my father in law. My mom's there, my brother and sister, my best friends from school (both elementary and high school). Even my children- some of them, those that are old enough. And the number of friends some of my friends have is astounding. Like hundreds! I can't imagine having that many- and personally I don't think I'd want to. I use FB to keep in touch personally with many people that I don't normally get to, I share a lot. I share a lot of pics of my family. And I share a lot of links that are important to me, some many disagree with, some just for fun. But my hearts in it all. In my status I share what's going on with us- and without some feelings of trust and a bit of an expectation that those that are my friends will not judge me, I wouldn't feel safe to use it in that way. If I had random, not true friends, I wouldn't be able to do that- I'd feel as if I had to be who they'd want me to be. Be afraid to offend. So I am picky about who I choose to accept requests from and not shy about deleting friends that turn out to just be there for the numbers game and gossip. I'm not a teenage girl anymore- popularity is not my thing.

Looking at the break down of my friends list is fun. Who is there, where we met, and how we interact now. But there's one common thread amongst them all- I care deeply about them. Childhood bonds. Lives lived in shared experience. Little ones and pregnancies. My bond to them each makes me want to run to them when they are in need. Send little messages and hugs. Comment on pictures of their children doing some cute/gross/new. Bring them closer to me each day.

It's amazing the friendships I've formed, or re-opened, because of FB and the power of the internet. I think I may be a very lonely person without it- I know I used to be, back when no one new what it was. And I'm glad not to go back.

So a look at my friends via FB-
family- 13 (this includes my DH, DC, mom and others)
school friends- 5 (friends from elementary and high school)
young adult life- 2 (friends I made as a young adult in my early 20s)
adult life- 3 (friends I've made while in my 30s)
support group- 20
DDC- 21
Not people- 2 (both are local pagan groups)

Some of these groups were larger before but as I got more comfortable with myself and what I wished to share (and with greater knowledge of what others were really there on FB for), I deleted some friends. Those that didn't seem to care as much about me as I them and didn't have pure intentions. It's surprising how many adults really are still stuck in immature actions and thoughts, not something I'm interested in anymore. My friends are that- friends. And I hold friendship as an intimate part of me and my life. If you want to act like high schoolers that's not where I am or ever want to be again.

So have you ever really looked at your friends list. Who's on it? and Why? Is your friendships mutual or one sided?

My friends I love you!

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