Tuesday, February 1, 2011

The Kitchen Towel

About a month back the husband and I were shopping at our favorite thrift store and I saw this kitchen towel. I was drawn to it- had to have it. And at a $1.25 felt no guilt about buying it. I grabbed it and threw it in the cart. I had no reasonable explanation as to why I needed it so bad other than maybe pregnancy hormones but it was oh so cute and called to me!

I got home and took it out of the bag, to bring it into the kitchen where it belonged. On the way I got an overwhelming urge to smell it. I buried my head and took a big whiff!

"Oh my god!" Tears sprang to my eyes. My eldest daughter was standing right there and saw my unusually reaction- "What?! Let me smell!" I gently hand it to her and she sniffs. "It's G-ma!" she exclaims! "I know!" says me.

Now my eldest son was just outside the room and hears our exclamations and comes in- unaware of what we're actually talking about but curious why we're standing there smelling this kitchen towel. He says "Let me smell" and without telling him what we smell I hand it over. "I know that smell. What is it? Wait I know but I can't figure it out." Eldest- "It's G-ma!" T- "Yes! That's it!" So here the three of us are standing around in the kitchen smelling this thrift store towel. Each with our own memories coming back and me with tears in my eyes.

See G-ma is my grandmother and she passed about 9 years back. My oldest 2 were lucky enough to create memories of her, the youngers missed out. My grandmother, as most grandmothers do, held a very special place in my heart and some days I miss her terribly.

And this holiday season she seemed to be around, in spirit, even more than others. My Aunt, Mother, Cousins and I (each separately) felt the need to try creating some of her recipes for Christmas cookies and candies. And just in general felt her presence all around.

I wish she had been able to meet my 3 youngest sons and create memories with my middle daughters. They all would have loved her as I did. I have so many memories and triggers for old memories (Hi-C orange in a can, Fruit Loops and Apple Jacks, Snuggle Fabric softener- the scent of her place, her and the thrift store kitchen towel).

So in the end the kitchen towel did not get put in the kitchen- I wrapped in a plastic bag and placed on the table next to my bed- for when I needed her near. I recently shared the kitchen towel and it's scent with my mom but she didn't get the same reaction as I did or the children, funny how somethings work for some and not others.

Will I ever use the towel? I don't know but it's my favorite at the moment.

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