|Climbing a honeysuckle vine|
No matter what you do in life there is always a starting point. The first breath, the first step, the first stitch cast on the needle, the first thought. And sometimes that starting point is the point in life where you go down a new path. We take a first tentative step towards where we want to be, where we want to go. The first step can be easy, sometimes it's just a thought. Sometimes that starting point can be hard, changing habits can meet challenges. Often there are obstacles in our way. Finding a way around them has their own starting points, sometimes it's just about leaping over it.
Often, for me, there are starting points that are re met time and time again. I become ungrounded and the path gets blanketed in debris. Past choices, past actions, spring up and hit me in the face. Daring me to stop for good. I can be swayed too far. And it can take time for me to find my way back. Or which stick to pick up and cast out of my way first, to start clearing the way again.
I live on a property that for 10 years was neglected and used by the occupants as a dump. I see the beauty in the act of nature reclaiming herself. But she can't rid herself of all the damage. Plastic and metal to break down easily. All she can do is over grow these burdens, hid them away, and allow them the time (even as long as it takes) to be eaten by her soil, her earth. I have felt her becoming alive again, calling her creatures back, filling with a healing energy. She brings it forth to those that seek it, that need it. She allows those that a hurting to be healed. Just as she heals herself. She moves forward in hope and with a natural instinct to reclaim herself.
I heal while I am in her. While we walk the paths, and try to tame things that want to go wild with their own mission. The trash that is sometimes still dumped, or blown in. The honeysuckle that is trying with all it's might to drown out the trees. It's become overwhelming to her. The roots of things are choked and sunny light drowned out. Honeysuckle, so sweet smelling and beautiful, and also invasive. Threatening to undo what she is trying to do for herself. Sometimes she needs help.
In my own healing mission, of me, my soul, my hope, my joy, my vision and dreams of life, I reach out to help others. Those closest to me are most readily available, but often the hardest. For I have wreaked havoc on them, much like the honeysuckle to the land. But in order to help them I must first help myself. I must build myself up. I must seek out those who can help to build me up, I can so easily be torn down.
I find myself thinking of where I want to get. I am at the starting point for so many things. My path is clear for some, but others are just a step and then into the debris. A starting point, finding those that can, from afar, love on me and help me remember where I am going. I remember why, but I need to remember to keep going.
Optimism is coursing through my body, steadily building, picking up speed. Only the biggest dams stop it but like a strong current, it overcomes and continues it's course. I imagine success and hope and joy and love, filling my life in a time soon to come. I must stay my course. Overcome my own obstacles, whether it's self or influence from others. I wish there were more ways to find the encouragement I sometimes lack. Oh it comes, through messages seen in unusual places. Things I need to hear, always in the right moment. I need to practice taking them with me.
I grow and healing, a starting point new each day. A little stronger. A little quicker to recover. I will be like the land and remember I need time to overcome the strongest opponents. But my roots will be deep and strong.