Thursday, April 7, 2011


I read a lot of other blogs and most of them are by other mothers and/or homemakers. Most of them post about problems they've experienced and solutions they've found. I don't. Why? Well because as a mom to many children I've found one thing to be true each child is so different and what works (or doesn't) for one child may (or may not) work for another. And even though I have one almost "raised" (meaning she's 17 and will be graduating high school soon) I'm no where near done or experienced enough to pass on what works (or doesn't) when it comes to raising them.

There are exceptions. There are things I know are (and again this is for us) best- like breastfeeding, even just for a small bit of time. And co-sleeping (at least in the same room). And not CIO (crying it out) for babes (ok this is not just for us- Baby "Training" is harmful (its been proven time and again) for ALL babies not just mine, I won't let that one pass). But the issues that can come forth even in these things I don't have all the answers for, and I make it up each day as I go along. So what may work today, 9 times out of 10 will not work exactly the same way the next.

I believe in natural parenting. For me that means doing what comes "naturally" and feels right. If it FEELS wrong then I know I'm DOING something wrong. I don't listen to the mainstream. The rubbish that my child needs to be taught independence from day one, or month 6, or whatever the "acceptable" age is at the moment. I look into the advice I've been given, make a decision how I feel about it, try it out and if it feels right continue trying to improve on my skills. Yes I mean skills- parenting can come naturally but like any other talent (natural or learned) you can hone those skills and continue to learn from it. Much like being a good human being- we each have our days where we're not so good (we may overindulge, get angry, or be slothful or selfish) and we have our days where we're on our game. We're people and no one will ever attain Godhood- we just have to live how we believe our High Power wants us to. And for the most part, I believe most Gods want one thing from his/her followers: Be good to others.

Solutions come and go. I can only rarely offer mine as something someone could try, and I prefer offer mine to those who ask, for those are the people who genuinely need/want help. I spout off at the mouth on things that are important and need to be talked about (so word gets out there) but on/in my daily life and solutions are tough to put out there.

A few common themes in solution based blogs I see: how I got my child to behave how I think s/he should, how I got my child to sleep thru the night, how I got my life organized to run perfectly each day. I'll NEVER be able to write those blogs! Some children sleep, some need more help than others, some just have insomnia- I KNOW about these, some of my children slept thru the night from day one (littlest J has! Haha jealous much! ;D ) and some still don't (C is up at least twice a night still @ age 2), my O didn't till he was over 3. But I have little to do with their sleep- I get them to bed and do what needs to be done at night so others in the house can get their sleep (because I don't want 7 cranky kids to deal with- one is just fine thank you!). I am trying to learn new techniques on how to help my child behave in respectful manners, and walk them through life's tough spots, and what special issues they have. But I don't know if these techniques will work. I'm hoping and seeing results with some. And man if I could get my life and home organized so it'd run perfectly each day I'd be in heaven! If I could have it exactly my way I wouldn't have to be so creative. Yes admittedly there are things that would make it run smooth but as I've said in a previous blog I lack self determination to keep things going. But having a wash/dryer in our apartment, instead of in the basement, would be a godsend and time save- a dream for the future!

And a promise to you- IF I find a solution to something that this busy, scatterbrained, undisciplined mom can get to work and stick with then I'll write about it. (Hey! I think I've done this before- with my mop review! :D) But for now this is my solution- Take life One Day at a Time, meet the needs of the day, don't be too hard on yourself and try and find some joy or a laugh each day (I'm working on this- going to try a new thing, going to write down what's frustrating me each day, even each minute of each day if necessary, AND then also write down an equal amount of good things). Trying to find balance here!

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