Sunday, May 29, 2011

Before I Had Boys

Before I had children I never wanted to have boys. I envisioned myself with daughters only. My experience had led me to find boys as loud, physical and hard to handle. I came to this conclusion while nannying, babysitting, being a in-home daycare aide and the older sister to a brother. I didn't feel I could handle the needs of boys. That boys between the ages of 6 and 25 are just well not my cup of tea. Men tend to mature rapidly after 25, in my experience and opinion only.

I have 3 girls. And 4 boys. Three loud, physical, never sits still, always dirty and on the go boys- and a fourth that is still too young to know. In 10 years time my home will consist of 3 boys all in the throws of adolescence. And a DH. I will be surround by testosterone.

I've been given 4 boys to raise and love and find the positive in. 3 so far with special needs. I been given them for a reason. Maybe because of my patience with them, maybe to teach me to be open-minded. Maybe just to change my mind. But what I am finding as I raise my boys are the special little things that make them all so worth it.

T's empathy for the under dog, his inquisitive nature. O's always upbeat mood, and ease of picking up skills. C's intelligence and gentleness with others. J's way of looking into your  heart and soul. All my boys have looked at me with complete unconditional love, something I don't always feel coming from my daughters, especially in the throws of puberty. I have raised "Mama's Boys" but as "Mama's Boys" I've raised caring and compassionate sons. They will be men I am proud to be the mother of. I can with 100% certainty say I know my sons and what they are, or are not, capable of. I trust them to be good boys, not to hurt others, do drugs or steal. They don't lie (well sometimes they try as young children but they quickly learn they won't get away with it and it's always better to tell the truth from the beginning.) and they openly share with those in need.

My sons have brought me out of my bubble, my make believe world of sorts, to the real world where they are just a valuable as girls. Just as worthy of love and capable of  being the opposite of what I assumed. I had assumed I'd have a hard time loving boys. But I don't. My heart swells  from their smiles, laughs and hugs. They teach me everyday. Teach me to be open, even more patient and that boys becoming men are not evil but they require just as much gentleness and tenderness as any girl does. They still are rough, and loud, and annoying at times but they are My Boys.  

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