Yesterday I made it my someday. Today I started a list of all the things I've been meaning to do/start/finish. I always start with a list in my head, never getting it down on paper. If I put it to paper I feel I'm committing to finishing it. But that was what yesterday was about- Committing to move forward in my life. This is just a step.
My list, for the moment:
- blog everyday
- start cloth feminine pads
*behind kids' bedroom door
*kids' room toys
-start list of emergency
-important stuff in lock box
-clean out frig
-listen to music daily
-body cleanse/detox (myself)
-stones for energy work (research, find, cleanse, energize)
-work in the yard
-write/publish A's birth story blog (by Sept. 8th)
I only have one deadline for these. I want to keep working on each as I can, not pressure myself too much, or else I'll get overwhelmed but I also can't procrastinate on anything or I'll get down on myself and again become too overwhelmed. Its a cycle with me.But there it is in black and white, slowly moving forwards to regain myself. First the little things to help me build myself up then onto the big dreams!
I started reading my meditation books again yesterday, my Someday. It's a beginning back to me. My Self needs more connection to my Spirit. My Higher Power, my Goddess, is always there with me, but sometimes I lack the ability to see and hear her. I feel her always, even when I'm not me. The things we read and hear and see, are always signs- of love and comfort. But at our darkest we are not open.
One of today's readings was about serenity- being safe to relish in it. So fitting since that's where I'm moving towards. Serenity in life. The other reminds that on our path there will be not just joy and comfort but also pain and sorrow. But moving through such things brings growth. In one day there could be anger, sorrow, pain, love and laughter and I will accept them all, and work towards not along any to bring everything down again. Working on my Someday, I will keep always growing and moving at my own pace.
"Today will be a mixture of joy, boredom, perhaps both pain and sorrow. Each element will give me reason for growth."
"Be still and know that I am with you." English prayer